God makes me laugh once again

I will begin this by telling you that I am by nature a very introverted, self-conscious, socially awkward person. I avoid new social situations and avoid having my picture taken. God has, over time, helped me to overcome this but it continues to be something I struggle with and really don't like about myself. I long to be one of those attractive, bubbly people who sing up on stage and that people are naturally drawn to. But God reminds me at times that he made me this way for a reason and loves me for who I am. He uses me despite me.

Well, here comes the funny part of this story. Our church has gone to doing our weekly announcements in worship by having a prerecorded video called the 80 @ 5080....meaning 80 seconds at 5080 Cahaba Valley Trace, our church's physical address. These videos are a well done, slick and informative piece of our service. Jason Sears, our worship pastor, and Will Guilliani, our technical guy put them together, and each week Jason picks someone different to read and be in this video. Each week my family likes to see who it will be up on the big screen announcing what's happening in our church. One week my husband popped up there and he hadn't told us that he had taped it earlier in the week. The introverted side of me would think each week, "I could never do that....I would hate to see myself up there on the big screen". However, that side of me that wants to be someone else (I think I need to give this side of me a name...I am open to suggestions) thought, on occasion, "I want to be up there....I want to be that person radiating energy and loveliness"! Well, last week I had my chance.

Two weeks ago, after a training at church (I am the missions assistant at my church), Jason, the worship pastor, asked me if I would do the video announcements in the following week. Without blinking I said sure. It was a week away from when I would actually be recorded. That was a long week for me. Each day I became more nervous. I prayed a lot. Maybe Jason would change his mind...find someone else...why did I say yes? What was I thinking? The night before I didn't sleep well. I felt shaky. When I went to work I saw Jason and he didn't say anything about it and I thought PHEW, I think he forgot. But, no, he hadn't forgotten and I was summoned at the appointed time to appear in the green room that Jason and Will had created. I was nervous but with their help managed to get through it. Thankfully, they edit out the goofs. After I was done I really didn't feel any relief from my stress as I knew that in 5 days I had to watch this thing that I had done up on two really big screens in our sanctuary. 2,000 or so people would see me....and I would be BIG. Lying in bed this morning, I remembered that this was the morning. I had mixed feelings of panic and excitement. Maybe God had turned me into the person I envied...dynamic, outgoing. Or maybe I would need therapy for a while after seeing myself larger than life. I prayed during our worship time that God would give me the strength to watch myself without running from the sanctuary screaming and crying. Then Jason spoke to the congregation about our silliness...the way we lose focus and turn to other things, away from God's grace. Yes, I was being silly...making a big deal about this...it was just stupid. Well, during the prayer that immediately precedes the 80 at 5080....the power...went...out. I am not sure we have ever lost power during a church service. I think God saved me from myself once again. Thanks God....you know what I need and you know why you created me this way. Most of the time I don't understand. So, if you attend our church, and were wondering why we lost power for the rest of the 1st service (it came back in time for the 2nd)...now you know why. Sorry about that.